Yesterday

Yesterday I was sad because I wanted to celebrate my parents 55th wedding anniversary with them.

I was feeling sorry for myself because my Mother died 10 years ago, 3 months before my parents 45th anniversary.

I was being self centered and self-pitying...

And then, I turned on the news...

Dear Lord, I am so ashamed.

I pray this is a wakeup call for us all. That these precious babies and heroic adults lives will not have been lost in vain. We don't know what drove this young man to this awful act, but Lord, please help us to recognize the next person with these evil thoughts before he gets this far.

I don't know what it will take. I do know, we have to keep guns out of the hands of people who are going to go out and do these evil things. We have to find a way to appease those people who feel they MUST have their guns to be real Americans and still keep mentally unstable people from killing our children.

Lord, we need  your guidance now. Please be with the families in Newtown, Connecticut. Comfort them as only you can.

Amen

12-12-12

Thinking of what might have been....

2 weeks

2 weeks, that is all that is left until Christmas. Really? 2 weeks? Of course it doesn't help that I lost over a week to Lupus...Guess I have to learn that when I go and play, I will have to pay.

 

But I really enjoyed my trip to Cincy and Waxahachie, so I guess being down for 10 days is just the price I will have to pay. It was worth it to see my sweet Eli, so many of my Waxahachie kids and their parents

And now I have 2 weeks to get ready for Christmas. Decorations are still in the attic, don't have a tree, still need to buy presents....how will it ever all get done? And what if it doesn't? The world won't end...

Unless you believe the Mayan calendar of course, in which case, it won't matter at all, will it?

So, today I am going to remember some past holidays.

Because sometimes, the past is so much more pleasant, than the present...

 

Alissa 1980

 

 I made these dresses, they wore them and still love me!

 

We had some really big trees!! Wish they were all here to help me decorate this year!

 



 

Thankful

What a week we had!

It started on Tuesday with a trip to Tulsa to see Ed's parents. Donald is doing pretty well physically, but unfortunately the memory and confusion issues are getting worse. But he seems happy and is adjusting to his new surroundings pretty well. Lovella is doing better as well, seems more rested and not quite so stressed.

Kaci met us in Glenpool and then we all headed to OKC where the cooking and baking commenced. At least that is what I did. Ed and Kaci painted her dining room while I cooked...and cooked... and cooked! It turned out to just be the three of us for dinner, my Dad decided not to come, but it was a very good meal and everyone left the table stuffed! We had dessert with Doug and his family later that evening. So good to spend some time with them all.

Friday was a shopping/travel day. Ed and Kaci were up at 0 dark thirty, I chose to sleep. They had Kaci's Christmas tree purchased and home before 7am! We were supposed to leave that morning to drive to Texas, but Ed decided to put Kaci's Christmas lights up for her, so I did some cleaning while he was on the roof.

And then it was off to Texas to see our sweet Oliver!! And of course I was so busy playing, I failed to take any pictures of him!! Bad Nonnie!

Saturday was a busy day, mani/pedi's with Alissa, Cindy and Mandy, lunch and then time to get ready for the wedding of two very special people. It was like a family reunion of sorts, with so many of my "kids" being there. I haven't had so many hugs, kisses and "where are the rice krispie treats" in years!! I did manage to get a couple of pics, but of course not as many as I would have liked. Here are a few...

 The Groom, one of my sweet boys

 A sweet kiss from my sweet boy!

 

 

The Bride and Groom's first dance

 



The wedding was just beautiful and I hated to leave. Who knows when I will get to see all these kids and their parents again?

Sunday was our last day with Alissa, Brek and sweet Oliver. We also were able to spend some time with Dr. and Mrs. Cope as well as Somer, Ryan and little Miles. And then it was time to make that long drive home...I think I cried all the way to Dallas...Thankfully I have my next trip planned to Boston already and that is what keeps me going.

This is my shopping/recuperating week, since next week I have to report for Federal Jury Duty in Ft. Smith. I have to be available for 60 days, but should only have to spend a week of actual duty. Bad news is I have to be there and ready to go by 8 am every day....Guess they didn't get the memo that I am not a morning person! I will have to leave the house by 7am to get there and find parking and still be on time...Did I mention I am NOT a morning person? I schedule all of my appointments for after 1pm. I don't do mornings people! And yes, as I type this at 11:44 am, I am still in my pj's.

 Don't judge me please...

Picture Perfect Post

All about pictures today. As a 35 year anniversary gift, the girls gave us the gift of photography. Here are a few of the pictures.

Enjoy!

New life

Yep, that's right, Eli is going to be a big brother!! A little sooner than his parents had planned, but aren't surprises wonderful?

So, come late March, early April we will add precious grandbaby number three to our family!

 This Nonnie is so very blessed.

Funafornia!

We did it!

We had our first family vacation with our daughters, sons-in-law and grandsons.

And it was a wonderful success. You know it has been a great vacation when after a week together, no one is ready to leave.

We swam, played in the ocean, built sand castles, had surfing lessons, flew kites, took family photos, went to the San Diego Zoo, celebrated birthdays, remembered my Mom on the ten year anniversary of her death and so much more.

We all want to go back to "Funafornia" as Oliver calls it.

And we will, that is for sure!!

Remembering

Today I am remembering....

And doing that brings feelings of joy and sorrow.

It helps to remember, but it sometimes hurts so very much.

Today I will focus on the joy and try to push the sorrow away a little.

God has given us a beautiful day to rejoice in and that is what I choose to do.

Today....

Rebirth

I heard something the other day that really resonated with me. It was on some tv show, can't remember which one right now. Probably because I have been watching a lot of tv lately, since that is about all I feel like doing. August has not been kind to me, well actually the end of July was pretty rough. So rough, that after driving all the way to Boston for sweet Oliver's second birthday, I missed it! I was so sick on his actual birthday, I pretty much slept the entire day. Probably due to the fact that I was up most of the night very sick at my stomach and all that goes along with that ailment. Alissa was sweet enough to bring Oliver by for a few minutes that evening after they had dinner. So I was able to see his precious little face, even if it was from a distance. Didn't want to take a chance on what I had being contagious, even tho I was pretty sure it wasn't. The ride home was a real joy, as you can probably imagine.

Have I mentioned, I hate Lupus?

 But I digress....

Back to what I heard. I don't know if it is an actual quote or just an old saying.  It wasn't credited to anyone, so going with, old saying. It went something like this...

They say you are born twice, once at your birth and again when your Mother dies.

I had never thought of it that way, but it is so true. I really believe I had a rebirth after losing my Mom. It changed me in ways I never thought possible. I grew up, when I thought I was already grown. I matured and became so very thankful for things I had taken for granted for far too long. I am still working on things, but then I am not yet 10 years old in this new life without my Mom. But I will be, soon. The 10th anniversary of her death is rapidly approaching and I am already dreading it. The only thing making it the least bit bearable is that I will be with my girls and grandbabies on the date. I know they will do wonders for my mood and it is exactly what my Mom would have wanted for me. So, I won't visit the cemetery that day, I will sit by the ocean, watch the seagulls and enjoy my family. I will miss my Mom that day, just as I have every day since she left us and will continue to do everyday until we are all together again.

And I will continue to grow.

Thank you Nora

10 years ago, my mother was 61 and facing terminal lung cancer. I was living in Texas at the time and called one evening to check on her. I asked what she was doing and she said she was watching a movie, I asked which one and Mom tried to describe it to me. She finally got so frustrated trying to tell me that she said, "Oh, Connie, you know, the one where the girl pretends to have the "organism"! I got so tickled and said "Mom, has it been so long, that you have forgotten what they are called?" We had a really good laugh, which was much needed at that time. I lost my Mom in September of that year, but each and every time I think of this I smile. So, needless to say, When Harry Met Sally is my very favorite Nora Ephron movie. Rest in Peace Nora and thank you for your work and wonderful memories.

Happy Father's Day

It happens very rarely these days, but Ed and I were both able to see our Dad's on Father's Day this year.

Donald was released from the hospital Friday night, back to the Rehab center in Glenpool, so we visited him there. He was in good spirits and hopefully he will be strong enough to return home very soon.

Then it was on to my Dad's house. Daddy is still getting around pretty well, some days better than others. But that doesn't stop him from working in his beautiful garden. He had this table full of tomatoes waiting for me when I got there and believe you me, they were delicious!!!

Love you Daddy and Donald!!!

So close...

I am soooo close to 40 pounds lost, I can almost taste it. I just want to finally hit that milestone, so that I can move on to the next big one. So, with that, I have finally returned to my arch nemesis... the elliptical. Those of you who know me, know that I hate to exercise more than I love food. I would truly rather starve than exercise. But calorie counting needs a boost, so yesterday I got back on and gave it my all...for 15 minutes. Hey, it's a start! 40 pounds, I am coming for you, be afraid, be very afraid!!

Back in the saddle

Last night was so nice, Ed finally convinced me to get back on bicycle. We had a nice 10-12 mile ride. Until the hills...And then it became a walk. I just can't do those hills yet you guys. I did make it up one small one closest to our house. But not the biggest one. That one is going to take a while. Even in the lowest gears, I just can't do it. It's a goal, hope I can get there soon. But in pursuit of that goal, I also got back on the elliptical this morning. Only 10 minutes, but better than nothing, right? I was up to 20 minutes at one time, but I have gotten lazy. I am down 35 pounds, but have been there for about 3 weeks now. Time to kick things up and get to losing again. Would love to have another 35 gone before we go to Cali in September. Have to keep up with Oliver and Eli and it will be much easier if I am not dragging around this extra weight. So, back to the diet and exercise. On another note, so happy to see Donald Driver win Dancing with the Stars last night. He got every one of my votes. He has such an amazing story of survival and success. I can only hope he is every bit as nice as he appears to be. Congrats Donald and Peta!!

A bad day, or 2, or 3...

Have I mentioned lately that I really, really, no I mean REALLY dislike Lupus? Well, I do...

April is gone in a flash...

The entire month of April, gone, just like that. I slept in my bed 2 nights in April. There was a week in Tulsa, a week in Boston and 2 and a half weeks in Cincy. In a flash... So much happened this month, Eli had his first birthday, Alissa and Brek celebrated 10 years of marriage with a trip to Mexico and Oliver is now 21 months old. He will be 2 before we know it. Have I mentioned I am exhausted? I loved every minute of April, time with my girls, time with my sweet baby boys, but now it is time for me. Time to catch up, time to relax and time to miss my babies. Time to start planning the next trip!

And then...

We went to Tulsa 2 weeks ago today to begin the closing process of Lightner Heat and Air.
And then we found out Donald had burned his hand with freon on Thursday.
And then we found out Donald had fallen on Thursday.
And then we found out Donald was at the emergency room and his leg might be broken.
And then we were told it was broken.
And that his hand had 2nd degree burns.
And then we met with Attorneys and sold the business.
And then 5 hours after she and Eli were supposed to arrive, Kari finally made it to Tulsa.
And then the work began.
We were supposed to be there 2-3 days.
And then it was a week.
And then I went home for one night to pack and prepare the house, because when I left the next morning, I wouldn't be back for almost a month.
And then Kari and I drove to Ohio.
It was a long drive.
I will be here until the 18th.
And then I will fly to Boston...for 8 days...to watch Oliver while his Mommy and Daddy go on their 10 year anniversary trip. His Gram Poynor and I will be tag teaming him...Pray for us please...
And then I will fly back to Cincy for Eli's first birthday and baby dedication.
And then...I will go home, exhausted but thankful for the time with my girls and sweet baby boys.

And then I weighed and saw I have lost 28 pounds! Yay me!

Moma

Thirty-three years ago today, that became my name. I stopped being Connie and became Alissa's Moma.

It was a day much like today,raining and everything bursting with the newness of Spring.

I had been in labor 27 1/2 hours waiting on this child to make her appearance and I was exhausted. But so very happy to finally hold her in my arms and tell her how much I loved her

Instantly

Intensely

Infinitely

And now she is a Moma

And she is 33 years old.

And I love her more than words can tell.

Happy Birthday Alissa Michelle!!

Another milestone

Thirty-five years ago today

We said I do

Did then

And still do today.

Happy Anniversary Ed!

Are you up for thirty-five more?

From 13 to 53

This is how long I have known Ed. Actually he was 12 when we met, but the first birthday he had after we met was his 13th.

And today he is 53....

Wow, we are getting old...

Happy Birthday Ed Lightner and remember, for the next 6 months you can't call me "old lady"!!

Thirty wonderful years

Thirty years ago right now, I was having contractions.

Kari was finally on her way!

I had just about given up, since she was more than 2 weeks overdue. In fact, I was scheduled to be induced on the 10th.

But Kari had other plans. So off to the Dr. we went. I was perfectly content to adopt a wait and see attitude, but Ed and Dr. Wilsey were a bit impatient. So, off to the hospital we went even tho I didn't have my bag and had not made long term plans for Alissa. Ed went back home to get our things and make sure his Grandmother could watch Alissa. I went to get checked in and start that wonderful drug, Pitocin.

I was assured it would probably be a long process, based on my first labor, but decided to call my Mom anyway so she could get to the hospital. She was in Nursing school at the time, but decided she would come on just in case. Thankfully she did, because it seemed Kari had a mind of her own and wanted to make her presence known.

And at 4:59pm Central time, Kari Denise Lightner came into my life. From the moment she was born, she has been a ray of sunshine. I have never seen a baby as happy as she was until a precious little boy by the name of Eli was born 10 months ago. He is his mother's child for sure!

So, today, I celebrate my middle child. It seems impossible that she is 30 years old today. And yet she is.

I love you Kari Denise, more than words can say. You have blessed my life in so many ways and I can hardly wait for all the adventures yet to come.

Antibiotics, Aruba and more

Two weeks ago today, I was supposed to be getting a mani/pedi and packing for our trip to Aruba.

Instead, I cancelled that appointment and made one with my Dr. instead. Not as much fun, but necessary.

Now normally I don't run to the Dr. for every little sniffle (once went 11 years without seeing Dr. Pickens), but I knew I was going to be flying and the way my head and ears were feeling, knew that flight could be intensely painful. So off to the Dr. I went.

Didn't take long to diagnose a bad sinus infection, prescribe antibiotics and decongestant and send me on my way. I like my visits short, sweet and to the point. I spent the next 24 hours sleeping and trying to breathe. I really didn't think I was going to make the trip, but being the trooper I am (hey, it was Aruba after all) I took one for the team, packed up and headed out.

The flight was not fun, but not as bad as it would have been without the meds. And the reward was amazing.


The view from our room

While I didn't get to do any of the fun things I had planned, no snorkeling or other fun things. Guess I will just have to go back there one day and do all the things I didn't feel like doing on this trip.

A week at home alone has been good for me. I still have an annoying cough and some congestion, but feel so much better. Good enough, that we will leave tomorrow for Las Vegas and Kari's 30th Birthday trip. I am so excited to see all three of my girls together. It has been so long since we have all been together. I am sure there will be lots of things to talk about after this trip!! But remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Unless I blog about it!

Crazy February

A crazy month already and it is only going to get worse...

Started off great with a trip to Boston to see our sweet Oliver, he is so adorable right now. I love hearing him say "Nonnie"! He is growing up so fast, hard to believe he is already 18 months old.

We made it home Sunday night and then went to Tulsa on the 7th for Donald's birthday and to move more things out of the business and back to their house. He is handling it pretty well.

Home for a few more days and then we are off to Aruba for a week. We have never been there, so looking forward to this trip.

And then at the end of the month, we leave for Las Vegas and Kari's 30th birthday girls trip! Hard to believe my middle child is about to be 30 years old. And then, we will be in March and that is just a whole, nother kind of crazy...

Must stop now before I become completely overwhelmed....

The journey has begun

Three weeks ago, Ed, Kari, Kaci and I started our own version of Biggest Loser.

Yes, I know, why in the world would I do that?

Let me give you two really good reasons...

Oliver and Eli!!

I want to be able to run and play with them for a very long time and that isn't going to be possible if I continue down the road I have been on for far too long now.

So, as of today, I have lost TEN pounds and am doing 20 minutes on the elliptical! We didn't get a bike ride in this weekend, not sure when we will get to ride again, the next few months are going to be crazy busy. Just hoping to stay on the diet and either walk or use the elliptical at least 3 or more times a week. Want to build up to an hour every day, but know that is going to take some work.

But I have motivation and by the time we get to Cali in September for our family vacation, I plan to keep up with those little boys every step of the way!!

Disneyland, here we come!!!

My new ride

Like many other women of my age, I am trying to stay as young as I can. I thought a pretty little convertible would be fun and help to keep me feeling young.

Ed had other ideas.



I think he is trying to take me back a few more years than I really want to go....

Oh, and notice that big, pretty, shiny truck behind me? That's his new ride...

I think I was shortchanged...

A brand new year

Well, hello 2012, nice to meet you! I hope we are going to have lots of adventures together. I am looking forward to many days filled with family, friends and laughter. I hope you will be kind to us and those we love. We are so ready for all that you have to offer us!

2011 was a big year for us. We welcomed a beautiful baby boy to our family, love you Eli!! Oliver, our first grandson had his first birthday and continued to charm us all. I heard my grandchild say Nonnie for the first time, a very special moment for sure.

We had many trips this year. I spent 6 weeks between Cincinnati (4 weeks) and Boston (2 weeks) when Eli was born. That is the longest stretch I have been away from home. I made 5 trips to Boston this year and 4 to Cincinnati. At least that is all I can remember right now...

Memory, that is a game you play right Kari? I have had some challenges with mine this year. I laughingly say that between the Lupus Fog and the Menopause, it is a wonder I can remember my own name some days. I have had some challenges dealing with my lupus this year and had my first flare in October. Hoping for a healthier year in 2012 for sure.

Happy New Year!