It's Lupus...

These are the words I heard. Over the last year and a half I have heard rosacea, eczema, lets do a biopsy, possible lupus, appears to be lupus, let's draw some blood, let's draw some more blood, some tests are positive for lupus, but not conclusive, you need to see a Rheumatologist, cutaneous lupus, let's draw some more blood...

And today, it was Systemic Lupus..

I couldn't breathe, couldn't think to ask questions, just said thank you and hung up.

Then I think I had my first panic attack.

There may be more...

But it explains so much of the way I have been feeling for almost 2 years now. While I am glad to have an answer, it is really not the answer I wanted to hear. But really, does anyone want to hear this kind of thing?

When I had calmed down, I wrote down some questions, called the Dr. back and felt much better after I had some answers. Here are a few of them.

There is no cure, but with treatment I should be able to live with it.

I won't be sunbathing any time soon. I have always known the sun was bad for me, but now it is really bad for me.

I am going to have to adapt to taking medication, every day and on time. Me, who can't even remember to take a vitamin every day will now have to be responsible and take my meds.

I will be seeing Doctors on a much more regular schedule. I made it 50 years without having to see them very often at all, guess I will be paying for that now.

I have much more to learn about this disease, but plan to do it one day at a time. That's pretty much all I can do other than pray. And I plan to do that quite a bit as well. If you are reading this, I hope you will pray with me and for me. Not ashamed to ask. You can never have too many prayers or people praying for you.

Life after 50 is taking me down a road I would rather not travel, but down it I must go....

Solitude

It's been very quiet around here. Ed left Friday night and I didn't leave the house again until yesterday (Monday). It has been just me and the kitties and they don't have much to say. They just sleep and eat...hmmmm, seems like that is pretty much what I have been doing as well...

I did get out yesterday and run some errands, but forgot a few things so had to go back out today. But I have provisions and plan to cook some of my favorite foods that Ed isn't crazy about.

Kaci is trying to convince me to come up on Sunday, still contemplating that. Will just depend on how I am feeling by then.

Time to start cooking!

Today's the day

Well, the day has finally arrived. Ok, the second day has finally arrived. The day was officially the 15th of May when Ed started the ride and got the bike to Seattle. But the ride really begins when he flies back to Seattle today, gets the bike and heads North to Alaska.

This trip has literally been years in the making. Not sure the exact date the idea was first talked about, but I have known about it for at least 2 years. It just boggles my mind that after all the talking, researching, purchasing, returning....well you get the picture, the day is finally here.

I picked up a few last minute food items yesterday at Bass Pro for him. He doesn't think he will need them, but better to have and not need, than need and not have.


Had to get the Jalapeno jerky!!


It's called a spork!

I didn't buy the bear spray tho. That stuff is $50!! I told him he would just have to run fast! : )

Today is packing and last minute things, have to pick up his prescriptions, some extra undies and a few other necessities and then it's off to the airport.

I know he will have some challenges along the way, but this is truly the trip of a lifetime. I hope it lives up to all of his expectations. I can't wait to see all the pictures and hear all the stories.

Ok, back to business, I will write and post more pics later.

What a weekend...

Wow, what a whirlwind of a weekend it was. We picked Kari up at the airport, picked up some bar-b-cue and came home, since we were going to be here so little. We had a good night of catching up, stayed up way too late and got up too early the next morning.


Puddy waiting for Kari to get here, we were all excited!!

Ed put Kari to work on our pitiful flower beds. She for some strange reason actually enjoys all that stuff. Me, not so much.

Then it was time to shower and head off to see the Wizard in Tulsa. We stopped off at the Hasty Bake Bar-b-cue competition, Ed's cousin was competing. Oh my gosh it was so stinking hot. Have I mentioned I don't enjoy hot weather. Yeah, I thought I had, but for the record, I HATE HOT WEATHER!!!

We then went to Ed's parents house for a visit and to change into our "Theater" clothes. We stopped off for a light dinner on the way and then Ed dropped us off for the show. It was very good and we had fun just seeing it together. I have enjoyed this Christmas gift so much. I loved all the shows and getting to see them with my favorite girls in the world just made it so very special.


Kari and me about to see the Wizard!!

Of course, no trip home is complete without a stop at Whataburger. Thank goodness there is one in Tulsa. 120 miles is a long way to go for WhataB, but when you don't get it very often it is worth it.

After another very late night, we were up way too early again, planting all the new greenery we purchased. It was so stinking hot....Thankfully my Dad showed up and we were able to get to a stopping place and start the Father's Day dinner. Inside cooking is sooo much better than outside planting any day. We had a very nice dinner and before we knew it, the time had come to take Kari to the airport. I hate goodbyes worse than I hate the heat. So, since it was Father's Day, I let Ed take Kari to the airport. He got some time with her and I stayed here and visited with my Daddy.

Poor Kari, her flight was diverted to Richmond because of storms in Norfolk, so she didn't get home until after midnight her time. Sure wish she could have stayed longer but so thankful for the time we had together.

I love my girls!

The middle child

In two days my middle child will be home for the first time in two years.

That's just too long.

But she is coming home and that is all that matters.

I miss my girls...

Not sure I like this part of parenting so much.

When you are in the trenches just trying to get through another day, you think you can't wait until they are grown and you will have a little time to yourself.

And then that day comes and it isn't nearly as great as you thought it would be.

You miss your children

A lot!

But in two days, I get to see one of them for a few days. We are going to do some very fun things and hopefully make some memories.

Because that is what it is really all about folks, spending time together and making memories.

Hope you make some special memories today.

New Blog and Facebook pages

So, we have a sort of new blog and a very new Facebook page. Both are dedicated to the new love of Ed's life.... motorcycles... Yes, I believe I have slipped down the totem pole a notch or two.

Oh well, I can live with it. He is probably going to slide a notch or more when that sweet little boy gets here in July!!

Check out our blog at conniemoma.wordpress.com and our Facebook page is Arkansas Motorcycle Adventures. We will be posting lots of pics from Ed's various rides as well as a hopefully daily log of his Alaska ride.

Let's ride!!

Grasshopper Momma Giveaway!

Check out Grasshopper Momma's blog for a fun giveaway! I was the lucky winner last time ( a new pair of shoes for my soon to be grandson), maybe you will be the lucky winner this time!
Here's how to get there...

http://grasshoppermomma.blogspot.com/

Good luck!!