Remembering

Today I am remembering....

And doing that brings feelings of joy and sorrow.

It helps to remember, but it sometimes hurts so very much.

Today I will focus on the joy and try to push the sorrow away a little.

God has given us a beautiful day to rejoice in and that is what I choose to do.

Today....

Rebirth

I heard something the other day that really resonated with me. It was on some tv show, can't remember which one right now. Probably because I have been watching a lot of tv lately, since that is about all I feel like doing. August has not been kind to me, well actually the end of July was pretty rough. So rough, that after driving all the way to Boston for sweet Oliver's second birthday, I missed it! I was so sick on his actual birthday, I pretty much slept the entire day. Probably due to the fact that I was up most of the night very sick at my stomach and all that goes along with that ailment. Alissa was sweet enough to bring Oliver by for a few minutes that evening after they had dinner. So I was able to see his precious little face, even if it was from a distance. Didn't want to take a chance on what I had being contagious, even tho I was pretty sure it wasn't. The ride home was a real joy, as you can probably imagine.

Have I mentioned, I hate Lupus?

 But I digress....

Back to what I heard. I don't know if it is an actual quote or just an old saying.  It wasn't credited to anyone, so going with, old saying. It went something like this...

They say you are born twice, once at your birth and again when your Mother dies.

I had never thought of it that way, but it is so true. I really believe I had a rebirth after losing my Mom. It changed me in ways I never thought possible. I grew up, when I thought I was already grown. I matured and became so very thankful for things I had taken for granted for far too long. I am still working on things, but then I am not yet 10 years old in this new life without my Mom. But I will be, soon. The 10th anniversary of her death is rapidly approaching and I am already dreading it. The only thing making it the least bit bearable is that I will be with my girls and grandbabies on the date. I know they will do wonders for my mood and it is exactly what my Mom would have wanted for me. So, I won't visit the cemetery that day, I will sit by the ocean, watch the seagulls and enjoy my family. I will miss my Mom that day, just as I have every day since she left us and will continue to do everyday until we are all together again.

And I will continue to grow.

Thank you Nora

10 years ago, my mother was 61 and facing terminal lung cancer. I was living in Texas at the time and called one evening to check on her. I asked what she was doing and she said she was watching a movie, I asked which one and Mom tried to describe it to me. She finally got so frustrated trying to tell me that she said, "Oh, Connie, you know, the one where the girl pretends to have the "organism"! I got so tickled and said "Mom, has it been so long, that you have forgotten what they are called?" We had a really good laugh, which was much needed at that time. I lost my Mom in September of that year, but each and every time I think of this I smile. So, needless to say, When Harry Met Sally is my very favorite Nora Ephron movie. Rest in Peace Nora and thank you for your work and wonderful memories.

Happy Father's Day

It happens very rarely these days, but Ed and I were both able to see our Dad's on Father's Day this year.

Donald was released from the hospital Friday night, back to the Rehab center in Glenpool, so we visited him there. He was in good spirits and hopefully he will be strong enough to return home very soon.

Then it was on to my Dad's house. Daddy is still getting around pretty well, some days better than others. But that doesn't stop him from working in his beautiful garden. He had this table full of tomatoes waiting for me when I got there and believe you me, they were delicious!!!

Love you Daddy and Donald!!!

So close...

I am soooo close to 40 pounds lost, I can almost taste it. I just want to finally hit that milestone, so that I can move on to the next big one. So, with that, I have finally returned to my arch nemesis... the elliptical. Those of you who know me, know that I hate to exercise more than I love food. I would truly rather starve than exercise. But calorie counting needs a boost, so yesterday I got back on and gave it my all...for 15 minutes. Hey, it's a start! 40 pounds, I am coming for you, be afraid, be very afraid!!

Back in the saddle

Last night was so nice, Ed finally convinced me to get back on bicycle. We had a nice 10-12 mile ride. Until the hills...And then it became a walk. I just can't do those hills yet you guys. I did make it up one small one closest to our house. But not the biggest one. That one is going to take a while. Even in the lowest gears, I just can't do it. It's a goal, hope I can get there soon. But in pursuit of that goal, I also got back on the elliptical this morning. Only 10 minutes, but better than nothing, right? I was up to 20 minutes at one time, but I have gotten lazy. I am down 35 pounds, but have been there for about 3 weeks now. Time to kick things up and get to losing again. Would love to have another 35 gone before we go to Cali in September. Have to keep up with Oliver and Eli and it will be much easier if I am not dragging around this extra weight. So, back to the diet and exercise. On another note, so happy to see Donald Driver win Dancing with the Stars last night. He got every one of my votes. He has such an amazing story of survival and success. I can only hope he is every bit as nice as he appears to be. Congrats Donald and Peta!!

A bad day, or 2, or 3...

Have I mentioned lately that I really, really, no I mean REALLY dislike Lupus? Well, I do...